Normally, the Shuttle can't quite safely reach the orbital inclination required to pass over both those points from a Canaveral launch, but this is an alternate history in which either it launches from Vandenburg or everyone hates the Outer Banks.

I'm just worried that we'll all leave and you won't get to come along!

Ever notice how the more successful observational comics become, the more their jokes focus on flying and hotels?

Sweet unintersecting dreams!

Yes, I understand that the turn is half a mile past the big field, but my GPS knows that, too. This would be easier if you weren't about to ask me to repeat it all back to you.

It gets worse! You know that wizened old monk with the gypsy wife whose voodoo shop we smash up every every day after school?

They actually started the reversed-text practice in 1977 -- not for ease-of-reading reasons, but because too many people were driving backward down the highway blasting the Star Wars opening theme.

There are two or three songs out there with beeps in the chorus that sound exactly like the clock radio alarm I had in high school, and hearing it makes me think my life since junior year has been a dream I'm about to wake up from.

Don't need any, thanks. I have a backscattering fetish.

'How about a little ... *family growth*?' 'Dude, that's not until round two.'